Ok, ok, I know every person has gone through this. Especially in Mormon culture, I think. So here’s my little spiel.
As far as dating and marriage, where is the line between having expectations that are too high and settling?
We've been told since childhood that we are precious children of God that deserve the absolute best. And I believe that. (But I think the world’s definition of “best” has severely complicated and damaged that idea.) We shouldn’t have to settle for less than we deserve. Conversely, if our expectations are unrealistic, they will never be met and we are setting ourselves up for unhappiness.
So what to do? If we shack up with the first person that we have a little compatibility with, we may never know what greater happiness is out there. But if we hold out for perfection, we will most likely never find it.
In the past, whenever I would get serious with a guy, I would start to evaluate him. Of course, being human beings, I would always find imperfections and flaws. So then I would become stuck between 1) can I do better? Or 2) is this the best there is?
No one wants to miss out on someone amazing because they are holding out for something “better” that doesn’t actually exist. But no one wants to regret their decision and realize that there really was something “better” out there.
I guess the answer just has to be – when that decision comes, you make sure you feel really good about it and then stick to it, never looking back.
But still, it’s a fine line to walk.
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